Staying sane in lock down

Something to make you all laugh over the Easter Weekend. 2 minutes of me
looking like a graceful gazelle obviously. This is what I have been keeping
myself sane with through these crazy times we are currently facing as I can no
longer go to the gym. Running outside the garden is just far too high risk as I
will go flying on those lethal gravel paths. This is what I get up to every
morning at 7:30 am and yes I am fully aware that I look like a delusional
Dalmatian but this routine is what is getting me through at the moment. The joy
of the super sped up version (40 minutes down to 2-technology is a dream) is
that no one needs to see my beautiful facial expressions or hear the very
interesting noises I seem to create.

The checking of my phone and rolling around on the mat between exercises is me resetting the one minute timer for each move so I can stop the annoying alarm which is waking up our neighbours. So let’s just use this as a chance to get into my head for a bit whilst I am just knackering myself for your entertainment.

Running: 3-2-1: off she goes at the pace of a greyhound, oh no I meant a
tortoise-has she decided to run all the way to John O’Groats?-oh no hang on she
is not yet at the end of the garden-sorry team we could be here a while.

V-jumps: are your feet even moving? I think she was just having a nap.

Reverse crunches: well those legs are as straight as a plate of jelly on a Lilo-at
least the arms are doing a little better.

Mountain climbers: considering this is sped up a gazillion times, I don’t
think I am going to make it up Everest any time soon.

Sprints and tuck jumps: I didn’t plan this well for filming as I cannot
fully appreciate the crazy heights I managed to achieve in my tuck jumps (only
joking, I think an ant could jump higher than me!)

Weighted lunges: Wow-I look like I have been hitting the triple G and T’s I
don’t think I could wobble more if I tried.

Running: I will just disappear for a quick (or actually rather long snooze)-you
are welcome to as well you won’t miss much as I still wont be at the bottom of
the garden yet.

Weighted lunges: nope I lied, my left side is even worse-don’t know why I
even bother to be honest-I spend as much time lunging as I do stumbling all
over the shop.

Burpees: God knows what is going on there-its arms and legs a kimbo-I blame
the intense heat.

Flutter kicks: okay siesta time-my legs are definitely not moving (thanks
super speed you are not doing me any favours) but also I just cannot straighten
those legs-maybe I need to spend some time in traction.

Jumping lunges: okay, these are vile but o crikey I really screwed those
out-anyone want to give me a hand (although to be honest I think I am past
help).

Snatches: okay so the plan is to squat pick up the weight and bring it
straight above my head as fast as possible-don’t know what happened there as
the knees are not even bending-maybe I am just trying to stretch my back.

Running: where has she gone-hope you enjoy watching the empty garden-at
least there is some nice sunshine to keep you entertained-these running siestas
just keep getting longer-I think I would have been faster walking by this point.

Spotty dogs: that is the epitomy of delusional dalmatian.

Single leg crunch: please can someone help a girl get straight legs-how
difficult is it?

Explosion jacks: I really need to invest in some new hair ties-my stray
locks are driving me mad.

Press ups: I don’t think I can really call them that though-I mean my arms
are not even bending.

Star jumps: definitely cannot coordinate my arms and legs.

Criss cross: so much for the straight legs.

Squat jumps: so much for a squat-looks like a back exercise to me.

Plank and plank walk: absolutely shattered and past help-don’t even know
what is going on here.

So there you have it-well done to anyone who made it through the whole two
minutes-I am knackered and heading for another nap: Tuesday morning at 7:30am (we have a bank holiday to enjoy first) who is joining me?

Also, the one bonus of working from home during this time is all the extra hours in my day to do my all time favourite activity-stretch (I know gold star for me, my physio would be proud). Here are a few photos of me in pain in some interesting positions to cheer you up. Please ignore my dodgy looking right leg-it got attached by a tree root whilst I was out running yesterday-there is your health and safety warning- stay home, stay safe and stick to circuits team-your legs will thank you later (although maybe not after the jumping lunges.